Edwin Wee

I was baptised since birth but took my faith for granted, I went for the weekly Sunday masses and the annual four days of obligation and for me that was enough. Back in secondary school I was in a Catholic group, we prayed together but that was it, I did not understand the meaning of having a relationship with God, the meaning of loving God, the meaning of my faith.

When I first entered NUS, I devoted much time to many CCAs that were desirable to me, CCAs that enabled me to pick up a certain skill set or knowledge that I was interested in. I would pack my schedule with CCA meetings, project meetings and case competitions, anything that kept me busy and feeling alive. My friends from CSS contacted me a couple of times but I simply ignored them because God wasn’t part of my plans when I entered NUS. I reasoned that since God’s always there, why not put my faith on a backseat and catch up when time eventually permits.

Interestingly, that did not work for me. Towards the end of my first year, I felt a certain void in my life. Not that I could not find meaning as there was definitely meaning in many of the things I did, but it was just that sense of something missing. I thought I had almost everything, but I slowly realised that I did not have God and I did not have an existing relationship with him.

It was then that I felt that something had to be done and thought that perhaps a retreat would be ideal for me to consolidate my thoughts and my priorities. By the grace of God, my friend told me that there was a retreat organised by the Office for Young People that was just around the corner and I thought to myself this was it, I needed it and that I had to sign up for it. My encounter during the retreat that year stirred in me the desire to pursue God and to devote time to deepen my faith through the sacraments and with a community.

Until now the journey hasn’t been a bed of roses, there has been ups and downs but being able to pursue God with the CSS community has helped me a lot. The weekly cell group sessions and campus masses were good contact points, seeing familiar faces at Church of the Holy Cross during weekday masses were also very inspiring. In the past, I would always think that faith, prayer and our relationship with God was something relatively private and personal. However, having witnessed faith stirring faith, I’ve learned that we’re given friends and a community to journey together, and CSS has been such a community where I was able to share my joys and struggles with my fellow brothers and sisters.

In sharing and journeying together, I’ve learnt to become more accountable to myself and to the community. I strongly believe that this sense of togetherness and accountability aid in our attempt to be in this world but not of this world. This community has helped me to grow in faith and has steered me towards leading a more Christ-centred life through my words, actions and life I live.

To know that there are people our age so devoted in their pursuit and love for God is truly amazing in a church that appears to be dying in other parts of the world. Seeing the dedication and conviction my brothers and sisters have in their pursuit of God continuously inspires me to do the same. Even if we’ve been away for a long time, this CSS community will always be here for each and every one of us. For all who wander are not lost as God’s unconditional love will find us and bring us back into his loving embrace. Amen.