NUS Catholic Students Society
Gayle Chee
Year 4 | Life Science
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November 8, 2021
Hello everyone! I am Gayle, a Year 3 Life Sciences major. Today, I will be sharing about the joy and peace that Jesus desires for you and me – not only during the Christmas season, but in every moment of our lives.
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Coming into CUR last year, I was feeling very tired from relentlessly striving during the semester, in both academic and non-academic aspects. In the busyness of school, I was also spending less time in prayer with the Lord. Even during my prayers, I was constantly distracted by thoughts of what I had to do afterwards. As a result, I experienced quite a lot of inertia to sign up for CUR – I wasn’t sure if I wanted to give those 4 days to Jesus as all I wanted to do at the end of the semester was to stay at home to rest. It was only by the grace of the Holy Spirit that allowed me to realise that what I truly needed to get rid of the fatigue from the semester was rest in Jesus, and it was this realisation that helped me to give my little 'yes' to CUR.
On the first day of CUR, my pride led me to be a bit complacent – I thought that because I had already heard these sessions during SOCL last year, I therefore already knew everything. Thankfully, I was given the grace to re-ponder on who Jesus is to me, and in this Advent season, who baby Jesus is to me. The realisation that Jesus did not come to our world as a powerful and capable adult, but instead, a vulnerable and helpless baby, showed me just how great His love for us was – that He would place Himself as a baby in our hands, trusting completely that we would love and care for Him. Jesus willingly came into our mess and brokenness so that we too could share in His salvation. This experience of God's infinite love for me, one that encompasses both my successes and failures, gave me the courage to face my sins and brokenness on the second day. As I invited baby Jesus to enter and sit in the mess of my heart with me in prayer, He reminded me that I could not save myself from jealousy and pride by my own strength, and that I needed to have the humility to let go and receive the salvation that He is gifting to me this Christmas. As I went for confession and adoration, and contemplated on the mystery of the incarnation of Jesus as man, I was also reminded that the peace, joy and freedom that my heart longed for was there in the person of Jesus. Just as how a baby clinging onto you is comforting and reassuring, baby Jesus was sent to us to reassure us that He does not call us by our sins, but by our names as His beloved.
After CUR, baby Jesus’ vulnerability fuelled my desire to encounter Jesus more intimately in my day, and not merely during my morning and night prayers. Therefore, I started to make a more conscious effort to recognise Jesus and His love for me in the mundane moments of my life, by thanking Him after a successful presentation, and turning to Him when something in my module is too difficult to understand, for example. Furthermore, baby Jesus’ trust in mankind made me desire to trust Him more deeply and intentionally. Thus, in the past 30 days, I have been delving deeper into the litany of trust with a group of brothers and sisters in community.
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These little steps that I have committed to have allowed me to live my life in a more integrated manner – in which I recognise that Jesus is present in all the little moments of my life. As I spent more time with the Lord and grew in my relationship with Him, it slowly became easier to entrust more and more of my life to Him, such as my studies and my family.
Looking back on my journey with the Lord this past year, it definitely has not been easy to claim the truth that He loves all of me in every moment, especially when I start to compare myself with others again. However, in attending weekly CGs and journeying with my fellow sisters, the joy and love that I experience in community always serves as a reminder that my identity lies in Jesus alone – that He sees all of me, and still chooses to love me and call me His beloved daughter.
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CUR has allowed me to dare to desire to enter deeper into God's plan for me, so as to experience the love He wants to lavish on me even more abundantly. The Lord wants to be our peace, joy, and hope not only at the end of the year, but in all the days of our lives. Brothers and sisters, will you allow baby Jesus to be your peace, joy and hope this CUR?