Gina Koh

I remember signing up for the CSS FOC last year out of the mere desire to meet new friends at camp. It is truly amazing that in the short 4 days, Jesus gave me all that and more.

Although I was very far away from the Lord, FOC was my chance to revisit what my faith meant to me and to discover where He was present in my life.

He surprised me most during a night of prayer ministry, where I found myself receiving (or perhaps, being receptive to) the truths He wanted me to know for the first time. As my sisters prayed for me, they were saying words I did not know how to say, but my heart needed to hear. In my moment of vulnerability, Jesus was present in all the people around me who supported me.

Looking back, it was such a short night, but He truly touched me with new warmth in my heart. This experience was my first encounter with the Living God – the One who loves us supports us and shields us eternally. Suddenly, I found myself wanting to hear more from Him and to know more about Him.

One year on, He continues to surprise me from day to day. God is now a part of my everything, everywhere in my life. I see now that Jesus is good and faithful to me always, and He only desires a renewal of my “yes” to him each day. Discovering what it means to have a relationship with God is a continuous journey for me, but it’s one that I know will fill me with a lifetime of joy.

Being a part of CSS has been my first real attempt at journeying with others. Yet even as I face struggles with openness at times, I know that I have found a community worth protecting. Through His grace, He has blessed me with people who affirm me, yet challenge me to move forward in my prayer life. Who reminds me of truths which sometimes seem far away so that I can regain the strength to claim them once again.

In the past, I perceived the Christian faith as one individualistic and deeply private. I must now admit that having a community to support me through this journey feels like the missing puzzle piece which I never knew I needed.

Journeying with others has helped me to turn my selfish desires for ‘more’ into the shared joy of seeing a brother or a sister welcome the Lord back into their lives. Most vividly, I am constantly reminded of the paralysed man in the Gospel of Luke – who encountered Jesus after his friends carried him forward. It is easy (and sometimes almost intuitive) to run away from God whenever our relationship with Him seems difficult. Still, He has given me many brothers and sisters who give me the strength and courage to face Him when it’s the most trying. At all times, He is present in the voices of every one of them. Being able to share both tears and laughter, while protecting the light of Christ in our lives together has been nothing short of beautiful for me.

To echo the words of St. Augustine, my heart is truly restless until it finds rest in You.

Through the whirlwind of the academic year, the Lord remains the stronghold which I can call my safe place. Jesus continues to multiply my every “yes” to Him and give me so much more than I can ever ask for.

Would you, too, let Him into your heart today?