NUS Catholic Students Society
Ryan Neo
Year 2 | Geography
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November 8, 2021
Before attending CUR, I remembered feeling rather weary from the semester that had just passed. As a Year 1 student who had just finished a virtual semester of Zoom lessons, all I wanted to do was to go back into hiding – hibernation over the winter, I guess you can say. :P The fatigue from having online classes had left me feeling dry in my faith life. Given that CUR last year was held mostly online, I felt that it would be no different from any other virtual event I had attended before, and that I had already received whatever the Lord wanted to offer me. I regarded God as a divine entity that was far removed from my sinful life, and I felt like I had to work on making myself a holier person for Him to recognise me.
Over the course of CUR, the Lord revealed that He desired so much more for me. The four days of CUR provided a time for me to re-centre my gaze on Him, to look forward to Christmas with a renewed sense of purpose and hope. From the comfort of my own home, the Lord called me to offer up all my discomfort to Him. Just as Jesus Christ made himself vulnerable by coming into this world in a humble manger, I realised that I could also be vulnerable before Him, for He calls me by my name and makes all things possible for me. The Lord reminded me that surrendering to Him is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of joy, hope and love. Through the words of the various session speakers, the Lord spoke to me, calling me His beloved child. I envisioned Him sitting beside me, inviting me to have a deep conversation about where I was in my faith journey. Through the grace of the Holy Spirit, I gained a newfound desire to have an intimate relationship with Him. By getting to know Jesus Christ, I was getting to know myself as well. He revealed to me my tendency to be overly self-reliant, and helped me to acknowledge the sins that were preventing me from experiencing His infinite love. I felt a desire to humble myself before the Lord, for His love for me is so much greater that I could imagine.
One key moment when I experienced the Lord’s desire to grow in me was Mission Night – when I invited a very close friend, who was not Christian, to come and see what the Catholic faith was about. Even though we had been close friends for a long time, that was probably the first time that we actually sat down together to have a heart-to-heart conversation with one another. Through that experience, the Lord sanctified my friendship with this person, and showed me that I could live a more integrated life in Christ. The Lord made it clear that He desires to sanctify every aspect of my life, not just the areas that I choose to offer up to Him.
My experience of God’s love during CUR has enabled me to rely on His strength and guidance in my day-to-day commitments. From my encounter with Christ and the reflection of His love in the wider university community, I no longer feel hesitant to surrender my life to Him, for He calls me precious and I am alive because of Him. CUR allowed me to see God’s presence and blessings in my life more clearly, and reinvigorated my love for Him in the new year. I learnt to be more intentional in my personal prayer time with the Lord, by reflecting on scripture and listening to what the Lord wants for me. I also learnt to be more receptive to the Lord’s invitation to move in my heart, by being more active in community and spreading joy to my family and friends. No matter what challenges I face in my vocation as a student, I am assured knowing that the Lord walks with me and guides me on the right path, for He knows me through and through. All He needs me from me is a simple ‘Yes’, to entrust my life to Him wholeheartedly. Although the road ahead would not be smooth-sailing, CUR gave me a newfound confidence to confide in Him and my community, especially when I felt confused, scared or alone.
Since CUR last year, I would be lying if I said that my walk with the Lord has been easy. In fact, new challenges have arisen as I move forward in my vocation as a student. Despite the uncertainties of university life, the experience I had in CUR has been a constant reminder that the Lord’s love for me is always certain and never fails. While I have fallen many times in my walk with the Lord, He has always been there to catch me and never leaves me behind. As St Paul mentions, “when sin abounds, grace abounds”. Rather than feeling shame and guilt for the sins I commit, the Lord invites me to grow deeper in love with Him through these experiences, for it is through sin that I accept my dependence on the Lord’s providence in my life. I do not have to look far and beyond to encounter the Lord, for He encounters me even in moments when I do not feel His presence.
Brothers and sisters, the Lord desires to come into your heart, regardless of where you are in your faith journey right now. Even when you feel unworthy of His love, the Lord is knocking on your door, affirming you that you are His beloved child, and that you are precious in His eyes. Will you take this step of inviting the Lord into your house?