NUS Catholic Students Society
Timothy Chong
Year 2 | Mechanical Engineering
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January 24, 2022
After attending CUR in Year 1, I promised myself that I would make the effort to attend CG sessions more regularly. Since I was staying on campus that semester, I also challenged myself to attend campus mass together with weekly CGs. However, the in-person masses soon proved to be too daunting for the introverted me. It seemed that everyone knew one another, except for me, who only knew people from my CG. I recall that it felt scary breaking for dinner before Antioch, as I would have to scramble around, in hopes of finding my CGL somewhere.
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I felt lonely after mass, having to leave alone when everyone was chatting with one another. I believed then that I didn’t belong in Community, and questioned if I should stay on in CSS after year 1. After much prayer, I acknowledged that aside from the loneliness I felt, CSS did play a role in my faith, and my walk with God. I told myself that I would stay on in CSS, but prematurely denied my own desire for friendships in community.
In Year 2, I agreed to step up as a CGL. During the first CGL preparation session, I remembered feeling very lonely, as I did not recognize anyone. It was difficult, and I poured out my heart to God that night, telling him that although I was okay with not making many friends in CSS, I really hoped that he would make my journey in CSS more bearable. God heard my prayer because my CUR facil texted me soon after, asking me to meet for dinner before the next CGL preparation session. That was really comforting to me, to know that God was listening.
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Over the summer break, and the past semester, God allowed me to meet more people in community, and to forge more friendships. Looking back, I realize how these friendships in community have helped me to grow in my faith. The desire for friendships in community that I casted aside were seen by God and answered in His own time. I am thankful for a God who knows my deepest desires and blesses me with what I need. I recall how I was struggling with deciding if I should attend Exalt, as I was caught up with work. A brother kept reminding me to sign up, but I procrastinated until I missed the deadline by a few minutes. I was quite happy as I thought that I would no longer have to make the decision if I should sign up, but little did I know that he messaged the people in charge to open the link again. I don’t know how, but I somehow missed the second sign up deadline again. I thought now I was safe, but he made the effort to text the IC to open the link again. I thought to myself there was no escaping now, and I finally did sign up. Attending exalt turned out to be a really beautiful experience with God for me, and I don’t regret going for it. It was a beautiful experience to see large crowds all prostrating before the blessed sacrament, and in that moment, I felt an immense amount of joy just to be able to acknowledge Jesus as my Lord and my God.
Another way that community helps to strengthen my faith is through conversations on the train rides after mass or Antioch. I remembered I was grappling with what was being shared after the Antioch session on hope last semester. On the ride back, I shared my struggles with the people I was sitting with, and it ended up being a really blessed conversation that shone Jesus’ light onto my struggles. They even messaged me bible verses to encourage me on this journey. The rides back home that were once daunting are now a source of joy for me.
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In community, people are always looking out for me, even those I’ve just met. They are always open to offer me a listening ear, and are unafraid to share their advice with me. CG has also been a blessed time where the faith of my CG members encourages me to learn more about my own faith, and to live it out. Through the sharing of others, I’m constantly reminded to trust in God’s plan, no matter how dire the situation may seem, because we have a faithful God who loves us.
Something I am also grateful for is the presence of community that helps me to discern the decisions I make in life. There were so many times when I try to bring a decision to prayer, but God stays ever so silent. However, He always turns up in a divine appointment or a conversation with a community member, to guide me. I thought that it was really apt, that it was only because of a chance encounter divine appointment, that I agreed to do this testimony and with the help of some brothers, I could put this testimony into words.
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When I was reading this testimony to a brother, the theme of belonging stood out to him. So my brothers and sisters, if you ever feel like you don’t belong or that there’s no place for you in community, I want to speak truth over that lie. As what St Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12, we all have very unique roles to play in the body of Christ. You are needed and the kingdom of God is incomplete without you.