“Looking at the tender and joy-filled return, I have to dare to taste the sorrowful events that preceded it. Only when I have the courage to explore in depth what it means to leave home, can I come to a true understanding of the return… the truth of the matter is that the son is dressed in rags that betray the great misery that lies behind him. In the context of a compassionate embrace, our brokenness has no other beauty but the beauty that comes from he compassion that surrounds it.” (Pg 38)
Like Nouwen, I struggle to come to terms with how far I am from God. Sometimes, I find myself making ‘Godly’ excuses to justify my worldly pursuits: I pay lip service to God by saying “I want to get a good job to serve the Lord” when in my heart all I think about is the prestige the job may offer. Other times, my pride stops me from admitting that I have rejected God. I ask myself contemptuously: haven’t I been following Jesus for a time now? Shouldn’t I know better than to follow the voices of the world?
The reality is I do know better, but I often allow myself to be seduced by the voices of the world. The more I follow those voices, the further I am from God. Far from His compassionate embrace; my brokenness amplifies. And faced with such ugliness, I become afraid to look deeper. I cannot help but shy away from God, from Him who is beauty Himself. So I seek even more of what the world offers me as a distraction or a pitiful second option. It is a vicious cycle, a cycle that pulls me far away from the soft and gentle voice I most need to hear: “You are my beloved, on you My favour rests”.
Yet, Jesus calls me and you to step out of that cycle. It is not easy to taste the sorrow, misery and bitterness within our lives. Perhaps, that is what makes lent so difficult for many of us. But Nouwen invites us to consider not just what, but who is waiting for us at the end of the road: the Father himself. He is waiting with outstretched arms to receive us back into his safe embrace. When we consider the Love that awaits our return, can we allow ourselves to honestly admit where we are at, even if it is very far from God? And can we look up from our brokenness with eyes of faith in the eternal and unconditional love of the Father?
- Abigail Tan
* Click here to read about our sister, Francesca Lee's reflection on the prologue!*
* Click here to read about our brother, Edwin Lim's reflection on the younger son!*
* Click here to read about our sister, Alyssa Toh's reflection on the elder son! *
* Click here to read about our brother, Brendan Loy's reflection on the elder son! *
* Click here to read about our sister, Kathleen Utojo's reflection on the father! *